The good and bad of being a crammer

It is already 2:17 in the morning and still, my eyes wide open (i had a cup of coffee and finally, I've experience the so called afternoon sleep :P so wat did u expect?).

Thanks for holidays vacation I have a lot of time to catch-up with my beauty rest aka sleep all-day. Lately, I was having a sleep-deprive due to some people that badly need my help :P. I sleep around 2:00 am and wake up around 5 am--- gah! jst 3 hrs of sleep???? no wonder why I have a low blood pressure, loss some weight, get dizzy, coughing like an old-man sick and always feel so sleepy. (If helping people is not good for my health so why would I bother myself to help people? :P hehehhe just kidding LOLz). It is just a matter of TIME MANAGEMENT!!!! (how I wish, I posses that skill).

Aireen is a dull artist (I know that by heart) notwithstanding there are some human being who believe in my capabilites (blessed them). I don't know if it is only because they don't have any options or I've really deluded them with my arts ^_^ or perhaps, in their points of view, I'm a great artist! (I like the last statement *big smile*).

I want to be more creative. I want the ideas keep flowing like a river. I want a lot of time.

If I have these three I can work with a rhythm and everything will go smoothly. I've searched and read just to make these things happened. I performed, I followed, and I practiced all the tips they have given and happy to say, it is very effective.

To give you an idea, here some:

Believing. Start by looking at your beliefs about your own creativity as well as that of other people.
Immersing. You can't be half-hearted about making ideas happen; the creative process requires a great commitment from you.
Idea-generating. You can generate ideas both unconsciously and consciously. Your neurons chatter to one another across these states. Idea-generating depends on how much you immerse yourself in something: to ask questions, you must feel sufficiently engaged and interested in a subject to be intensely curious.
Creating a vision. When you are clear about your beliefs, totally immersed in your subject and generating lots of ideas about it, creating a vision should come to you very easily.
Reality-checking. Once you have a vision, you need to try it out on other people. You must reality-check to improve, of course. This is the nasty business of seeking criticism.
Piloting. Many ideas fall flat because people talk about them, get feedback, but never act to create anything. The best way to convey idea to someone else it through, for example, a model of how new design could work, a plan and sample chapters from your novel. Piloting leads to more reality-checking and it is when you pilot ideas that you seriously start to sell and improve them,
Realising. This is the stage where you may think; I've really done it!. There is a strong probability, though, if you have a relentlessly creative spirit, that you are also immersing your-selff once again in new subjects, and generating ideas, as you gear up to go on to your next scheme.

Other related article: Tackle An Issue with a list of 100 - very useful

On the other hand, I'm still in a hurry! yeah, sure I know how to generates ideas and make them happen but BRILLIANT-IDEAS-COMES-ONLY-ON-VERGE-OF-TIME!!!!! oh man! I love cramming because my mind work really fast on that state and proud to say I can meet the deadliest deadline (okee not always but most of the time hehehehehe^_~V). Dang! I hate the consequences of being a crammer! aish! (point to the 2nd paragraph).

Here are the products of my kindness:

1. Additional text - Just a minor modification on Ka Jay Fadrillan's wedding invitation. Who rushed to our house to seek for our help during the non-working day (oh i love government holiday). He already have a concept on his invitation so all i need was to think where will I insert/ put the additional text (some verses from the bible). The invitation is actually overfilled with text and images, unintelligible to read which required you to move it closer to your eyes than intended. I would suggest to redo the design but the time refrain me for I was actually committed to another task which is again, bounded by time.

2. Audio Visual Presentation - Babang, a good friend of mine asked me to do their AVP which will be shown on their wedding reception. I said yes for thinking it was only gonna be drag and drop easy-and-not-time-consuming-task not until she demanded for unusual avp. So okey I need to squeeze and squeeze every part of my brain to produce and meet what she wanted. Brainstorming on my own, having a nice conversations with myself, and slipping the word "AHA!" in my mouth, exhibiting my own eureka moment enough for those people who are surrounding me to think I'm losing my sanity (Hey! I'm just THINKING! then don't THINK at the public place! pabo!). I jotted down every idea that popped-up in my head (for fearing I will forget it), i used lots of paper due to a myriad of rewriting and resketching the story however I did not used all the things I have on those papers instead I followed what my mind dictates on me (that's why sometimes I don't want to do the what you called pre-writing thingy, just a waste of time, I thought coz I end up doing the IDEAS-THAT-COMES-OUT-ON-THE-VERGE-OF-TIME )

click here to download the video

3. Wedding Invitation - Just I thought, I can resume my normal sleep at night and can breath at the regular intervals again when my mom blurted out i have to make a wedding invitation for the nephew of their resident Pastor. Huwatttt????? can I discommend? oh man! T_T and take note, I only have one week to do the 50 invitations! aigoo TT_TT --- totally clueless on what Im going to do and it was a race against time. Sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.sigh.

And with all my complaints, I'm quite satisfied on what I've done and very pleased with their complement weeeeeeeee ^____________^ BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!

NOTES:
I've noticed all these people are having the same motif on their wedding which is fuchsia and all of them are heading the life in ministry.

I'm not a wedding planner nor organizer nor anyone that has something to do with a wedding. It is just that that! If you are wondering why I'm always involved in this thingy then count me in!... i don't know!

And please if ever, just incase, someone asked me to do their wedding invitation, avp, etc, please notify me a year before the wedding hehehehehehehehehhehehe XD lolz

wishy wish listy list XD

anything that has something to do with Sakura tree (cherry blossom)

• sakure tree figurine
• wall picture (1, 2)
  
• umbrella
• cake
  
• jewelry sakura tree
• plate
• or the tree itself (1,2)
  

gashapon

• Sakura (tsubasa chronicle)
• Syaoran (tsubasa chronicle)
• kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin)
• kaoru (Rurouni Kenshin)
• L (Death Note)
• Raito Yagami (Death Note)
• Shikamaru x Temari (Naruto)

Ryuk Watch - cool!
Mokona modoki slippers
(or the Comic Alley itself) ^__________^

mobile hard disk
external hard disk
Now And Then (1995) movie
harry potter 5 original dvd
harry potter book set (1-7) ^^
Min Kyung Hoon First Album Impressive
Min Kyung Hoon himself :P (--,)
BUZZ concert
Grand Piano
Canon EOS-1Ds Mark III
mashimaro
super boink

art set (i miss coloring using the traditional media)

• sketch pad
• charcoal pencil/ pencil
• colored pencil
  
• oil pastel
• any art/ coloring materials

Graphics tablet

Fifth Mountain - PauloCoelho

etc... ^.^V

Songfic: Oblivious

There's a story I wanna share, it is actually the combination of two songs, I think it's cute and kinda mushy-cheesy hehehehehe. I was on my way on the office when I heard this song playing on the jeepney and then some thoughts popped-up in my head (with a myriad of light bulbs XD). This song could be the perfect match to a particular song that i know.

Here how the story goes:

There is a girl who is suffering from the illness of having a one-sided love. She loves him but he doesn't know. Been trying to forget the foolish emotion but to no avail it keeps on growing, her heart works on her own, and besides, feelings are not actions that you can control; which is why the heart respects and at times fears it. Tired of this feeling and no idea what else she can do so she cry and cry. Unbeknownst to her, there is someone who can hear all her idiot-love-blabbering, can actually feel all the pain she have and wishing he could shun them all away from her and praying to be her man and makes her happy all the time....

I titled this song story/ songfic (song fiction) as OBLIVIOUS because the girl doesn't know that the guy he loves was actually dreaming to be her man and the guy has totally no idea that he is actually the reason why the girl is keep on crying... hehehehehe PABO!

To understand more what on earth I'm talking about here are the lyrics, first "I cry" by Yuri Chika and then followed by "When she cries" by Restless heart.

If I have time, I might create a music video for this one or just a poster (depends on my mood *grin*). You can download the songs by clicking the title ^_^

I CRY by Yuri Chika

Every night I find it so hard to sleep
Cause I keep thinking of you
And these feelings from deep
Oh baby I try to hide all these feelings for you
I keep them all out of sight
I don't know what else to do

So I cry
But nobody hears me I cry
It's my only solution I cry
To all this confusion I cry
With all of my heart I cry

Sometimes I wonder in the blink of an eye
Would you be willing to love me
Would you give it a try
I don't know how else to show you
That our love could be real
I'll be eternally faithful
Forever I feel

So I cry
But nobody hears me I cry
It's my only solution I cry
To all this confusion I cry
With all of my heart I cry

No one can tell me that I may be wrong
Cause I know in my heart
This feeling still running strong

Can't get you out of my head
Can't get you out of my heart
Can't get you out of my life
No matter it fell apart

So I cry
But nobody hears me I cry
It's my only solution I cry
To all this confusion I cry
With all of my heart I cry

But nobody hears me I cry
It's my only solution I cry
To all this confusion I cry
With all of my heart I cry

When she cries by Restless heart

The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions
It's littered with broken dreams
That never quite came true

When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying
She does her best to hide
The pain that she's been through

(CHORUS)
When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feels inside
So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries

She's always been there for me
Whenever I've fallen
When nobody else believes
She'll be there by my side

I don't know how she takes it
Just once I'd like to make it
Then there'll be tears of joy
That fill her loving eyes

(CHORUS)

So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries

Afternoon delight

I love afternoon...

especially when the sun rays peeking in our room, i know it is so weird but it contented my heart, some memories racing back in my mind like when you were young, you're required to sleep every afternoon or else you're gonna taste the delicious spank at your arse by your loving nanny! I always try to escape that afternoon routine when i was young but always get caught (up to now im still wondering how my big sis did it! --- escape without being caught??????? aish!).

Hehehehe if only i have a time machine or the time nut, I will gladly to go back to that time and enjoy the so called afternoon sleep without arguments. Unlike now, you want to take a nap but you can't (i mean yes u can but that's no good! It is like having a guilty pleasure, too embarrassing to get caught -=_=-) waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... (i really feel so sleepy, i don't know until i can endure these heavy eyelids that been wanting to close) I've read some tips regarding how to deprive your eyes not to fall down during the office hours but it doesn't work for me (too bad!). --(did i really used the word “deprive”??? omagad! am i being too harsh with my eyes?????)

omo. TT_TT

image by: NeumaticCandy and meru-chan

ohayoo gozaimasu :)

NoTeS : All these words were keep flowing in my mind so i have no choice but to write them down. My imagination take me off into somewhere place , somewhere in the province perhaps for wanting to escape the city life even just for the short period of time and for my craving to witness the beautiful sunrise and I included some of my writings I've done before. Don't expect great grammar here coz I'M NO ENGLISH! And if everything I've written is having similarity with another, it is just merely coincidence.

OHAYOO GOZAIMASU

image by: kucingitem

5 am in the morning, every one is still sleeping, everything is still in black. I got up and composed myself, I sprint to door and stumble on floor. I gathered all my energy and winch up on the ground; I hurried to the backyard and got my bike. I ride on it and began to conquer the quiet whole wide road, the luminous way that lit by series of light post. I move the pedals swiftly as if someone is after me; as if I’m on a race and the wind that blows against on me makes me shiver. I release the handlebars slowly and spread my arms widely feeling as if I’m the king of the world.

And then I halt, I get off on my bike and began to walk along with it in the woodland. I get accustomed to the sound of dried leaves every time I step on it, It is like a music on my ears, the music of nature that so nice to hear. Then I reached the top where I could see the whole city. I tell you, the view is indeed awesome! This is the place where you can say you are on the top of the world! No… UNIVERSE! The lights that’s comes from the houses, buildings and posts looks like a million stars and diminishing little by little for the sun will show up with in a minute.

And then at last the splendid view I've been waiting to reappear again is now becoming visible. The serene skies, the beautiful tones of the sky, the rays of sunlight that slowly detonating below the clouds, and the fog that can do a really fantastic effect on this very tranquil morning.

I let out a sigh.

If life is just like this, so calm and relaxing every one will be happy everyday ^_^ no one will be lonely nor sad, no more melancholy moments nor gloomy day but this is ain't heaven nor the promise land, everything is bound to happen.

Life sometimes okay, sometimes not. Every one of us experience the hardship, the exceptional happiness of the world that we living on.

We learned a lot of the things as we go on with our life. And as an individual, I realized as you explore the reality of the reality, the more it’s hard for me to handle. Sometimes I think life is so boring or is it only me? Because I chose to think in that way or perhaps I keep on thinking and analyzing on what the heck is happening in me. Even me, wonder why I end-up like this. This is not a usual me. I even have a feeling I'm starting to lose my true identity, the real me or I just started to become matured? If it is how maturity stage flow... I don't know if I like it or not. Like it because I understand the world and I hate it because I don't like what I understand.

I let out a sigh.

I stand up straight and lift my hand and form a semi-triangle around my mouth and...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........ I scream at the top of my lungs.

This how I meditate myself, this is how I start-off my day.

OHAYOO GOZAIMASU ^_________^

One More Time One More Chance

Koreijou nani wo ushinaeba kokoro wa yurusareru no
Dore hodo no itami naraba mou ichido kimi ni aeru
One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzake atta jikan yo

Kuichigau toki wa itsumo boku ga saki ni oreta ne
Wagamama na seikaku ga naosara itoshiku saseta
One more chance kioku ni ashi wo torarete
One more chance tsugi no basho wo erabenai

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Mukai no HOOMU rojiura no mado
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Negai ga moshimo kanau nara ima sugu kimi no moto e
Dekinai koto wa mou nanimo nai
Subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo

Sabishisa magirasu dake nara
Dare demo ii hazu na no ni
Hoshi ga ochisou na yoru dakara
Jibun wo itsuwarenai
One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzake atta jikan yo

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Kousaten demo yume no naka demo
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
Atarashii asa korekara no boku
Ienakatta suki to iu kotoba mo

Natsu no omoide ga mawaru fui ni kieta kodou

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Akegata no machi sakuragichou de
Konna toko ni kuru hazu mo nai no ni
Negai ga moshimo kanau nara ima sugu kimi no moto e
Dekinai koto wa mou nanimo nai
Subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no kakera wo
Tabisaki no mise shinbun no sumi
Konna toko ni aru hazu mo nai no ni
Kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
Atarashii asa kore kara no boku
Ienakatta suki to iu kotoba mo

Itsu demo sagashite shimau dokka ni kimi no egao wo
Kyuukou machi no fumikiri atari
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Inochi ga kurikaesu naraba nandomo kimi no moto e
Hoshii mono nado mou nanimo nai
Kimi no hoka ni taisetsu na mono nado

Way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need `em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Ohhhhh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end